Matt: Hon, where's my rattle?
Me: My guess is you left it in your crib many, many years ago.
Matt: Very funny. My deer rattle.
Me: Just what does one do with a deer rattle?
Matt: For 2 to 3 weeks, known as ruttin' season, the bucks have one thing only on their minds, finding a doe.
Me: I find it hard to believe that anything called "buck" only gets horny once a year.
Matt: Yeah, but he has a hard-on for 2 to 3 weeks.
Me: The Viagra commercials warn that any erection lasting more than 4 hours, you should seek medical attention.
Matt: Not when you are called "buck." You use the deer rattle so the buck will think you are a doe and come charging straight for you.
Me: I hope you shoot him before he catches you.
Matt: Not as much as I do.