Me: Hon, would you like some beef stick and cheese?
Matt: I've never told you this before, but I really don't like beef stick.
Me: It's Hickory Farms.
Matt: It's mystery meat.
Me: Fine, all the more for me, you communist. I'll have it with my smoked oysters.
Matt: I've never told you this either, but please don't kiss me after you eat mystery meat and oysters.